Chronic symptoms??? Are You In An Unhealthy Relationship?

When Your Body Is Reacting to a Relationship (And Why That Doesn’t Mean You’re Broken)

There are certain patterns I’ve seen over and over again in my work — and this is one of them.

A client (woman or man) comes to me because their body feels “off.” They are tired. Wired. Numb. Emotional. Reactive. Pain. Many times, it’s seeing the same symptoms over and over again. Sometimes it’s pure exhaustion.

And often — quietly, gently, without drama — a story unfolds, there’s an unhealthy relationship in the background.

Not always abusive. Not always obvious. Not always something they’re ready to name.

Just… off.

I know this terrain well. First hand. Second hand. And yes — even the hand (or foot) that wants to kick someone away and yell, “BACK UP, THIS IS MY SOUL!” 😂

So when I say this, I’m saying it with compassion, not judgment. I’ve been there — a few times in my life — and not too long ago either. I’m 59!!!

Your body isn’t the problem — the environment is. The dynamic of the relationship is.

The Body Doesn’t Lie (Even When We’re Trying to Be “Nice”)

One of the hardest things about Loving somene & unhealthy relationship dynamics is that we often override our own signals.

We explain things away. We minimize. We tell ourselves:

“It’s not that bad.”“They didn’t mean it.”“I should be more patient.”“This is just how relationships are.”

But the body?The body is not interested in politeness.

The body responds to:

feeling unsafe

walking on eggshells

not being able to speak freely

feeling controlled

dismissed

or unseen

losing territory — emotional, physical, or energetic

And when those conditions persist, the body adapts.

Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re broken. But because your system is intelligent and protective. It senses danger and MUST react and adapt.

From the GHK / GNM Perspective: This Makes Sense

From the lens of Germanic Healing Knowledge, the body is always responding to an unexpected perceived threat.

That threat doesn’t have to be loud. It doesn’t have to be violent. It doesn’t even have to be conscious.

It can be:

“I don’t feel safe being myself.”

“I can’t say what I need.”

“I don’t know where I stand.”

“I feel trapped.”

“I’m afraid to lose them — or afraid to lose myself.”

When those perceptions linger, the nervous system stays on alert.

And over time, symptoms can appear — not as a failure, but as a signal. A perfect adaptation to the current environment.

A message. A very honest one.

The Moment Everything Shifts

There’s often a moment in my sessions when a client pauses.

Their shoulders drop. Their breath changes. Their eyes soften — and many times, tears are released.

And they say something like:

“Oh… that actually makes sense. I now understand that what seemed like random symptoms, were not at all..."

No blame. No panic. Just understanding.

This is the moment where fear loosens its grip.

Because when you realize your body has been responding logically, the shame melts away.

You’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. You’re not failing at healing.

You’re simply and appropriately responding to your environment.

This Is Not a Blog Telling You to Leave

Let me be very clear.

This is not me telling anyone what they “should” do. This is not about:

ultimatums~rushing decisions~labeling partners ~ blowing up your life

This is about discernment. About stepping back and making a conscious decision.

When you can see clearly, you have options. When you understand the pattern, you can choose differently — or the same — with awareness instead of fear.

And sometimes, just seeing it begins to calm the body.

Why I Care So Deeply About This

Because I’ve been there.

I’ve felt the confusion. The self-doubt. The inner tug-of-war between love, loyalty, fear, and truth.

I’ve also watched clients chase symptoms for years — spending money, energy, and hope — while their bodies were simply asking for safety, clarity, and space.

And I’ve seen what happens when that understanding clicks.

Relief. Empowerment. Confidence. Choice.

A Gentle Question to Sit With

If your body could speak without filters…Without politeness…Without fear of hurting anyone’s feelings…

What might it be asking for right now?

You don’t have to answer that today. But awareness & listening is a powerful first step.

If this resonates, you’re not alone. And no — you are not broken.

Sometimes the most healing thing we can do is tell the truth kindly — to ourselves first.

With love, humor, and deep respect for your inner wisdom, Deanna

🌿 Bonus Read: FAITH, JESUS, & HONORING SELF(A WWJD Reflection)

Faith means different things to different people.

Many people carry a deep love for Jesus — not just as a religious figure, but as a teacher, a way-shower, a model for how to live with courage, compassion, and truth.

When I reflect on Jesus’s life through that lens, something becomes very clear:

Jesus did not abandon himself to keep the peace.

He loved deeply. He served generously. And he also moved on when it was time.

“If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words,leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.”— Matthew 10:14

This isn’t punishment. It isn’t anger. It’s discernment.

It’s permission to say:“I offered love. I showed up honestly. And now it’s time to move forward.”

Shaking the dust off your feet is not rejection — it’s self-respect.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”— Mark 12:31

Loving others includes loving yourself.

Loving without loving yourself isn’t what Jesus modeled. That’s not sacrifice — that’s self-abandonment.

And self-abandonment has consequences… often ones the body ends up carrying.

“Jesus withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”— Luke 5:16

Rest. Space. Reconnection with God.

These were not signs of weakness — they were signs of wisdom.

So perhaps a more honest question than “What would Jesus do?” is:

“How would Jesus honor truth, safety, and self — while still choosing love?”

Sometimes the answer is to speak clearly. Sometimes it’s to step back. Sometimes it’s to rest. Sometimes it’s to move on. Sometimes it’s to shake the dust. And sometimes it’s to trust God with the rest.

If faith is part of your life, know this:

Honoring yourself is not a betrayal of your beliefs. It may be one of the most faithful things you ever do.

There is a solution for everything.

If you need support making a conscious decision, or simply want someone safe to talk with, Deanna understands the dynamics of relationships — including the one you have with yourself.

Support is available through weekly Q&As, online sessions, or through your own “self-imposed time-out” retreat at The Sanctuary of the Inner Song — where you’ll be completely loved on… like an aunt you never knew existed. 💛